Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Sierra Leone Roundup: The frog's Buttocks

It is Friday October 5, 2012 and to say that it has been an interesting week in Sierra Leone is basically an understatement.

A snake was out of control in the Northern Region of Sierra Leonean allegedly killing many people in the area. In response to this menace,  the APC government hired a group of witch doctors to investigate and solve the mysterious occurrence, thus making the Sierra Leone government the second government in West Africa to officially sanction herbalism and witchcraft, after Gambia's own President Alhaji Sheikh Professor Dr. Yayah Abdul-Azziz Junkus Jammeh who claims to have discovered a cure for AIDS and Asthma and has a whole ward at the Royal Victoria Hospital in Banjul devoted to care of his patients, who he cures with an elaborate combo of herbal remedies and Juju. Both of these governments in 2012 twelve have decided to resort to wizardry and witchcraft to address ailments in their countries, taking their countries back to the post medieval dark ages.
Segbwema Iscariot

In the small Eastern town of Segbwema in Sierra Leone, the sitting opposition member of Parliament for the Sierra Leone Peoples Party,  a certain Robin Fallay made quite a show of defecting from his opposition party to the misruling All Peoples Congress party in a classic move that was made to make betrayal look cool and sexy. In a highly choreographed and carefully stage managed event, he brought out a large group of onlookers and bored youths bused in from Kenema to lend credence to the claim that the people want him to adorn the mantle of Judas Iscariot. Most people there were just excited to see the MP act the fool and get free T-shirts to wear on the farm. Unfortunately for poor Robin, Maada Bio and John Benjamin also made a counter trip to Segbwema and the people came out in full force to label Robin Fallay as an ungrateful heretic and an ego-maniacal jerk. They said he was an uninfluential reprobate and an opportunistic narcissist who was ready to be soundly rejected, but had decided to jump of the political cliff before he was pushed and they prayed that the APC will keep him, and keep him permanently.
Maada in Town

The President Dr. Ernest Bai Koroma decided to hunker down at the beginning of the week and reappoint scam king Alhaji Sam Sumana as vice president, effectively endorsing his crooked actions and corrupt practices that have dragged the reputation of Sierra Leone into the mud. The President's actions nullifies the arguments of those of his supporters who had been arguing that he was not aware of the Vice President's nefarious activities and reinforces the view of those who were of the opinion that birds only converge together when they have identical plumage. By reappointing Cocaine suspect Kemoh Sesay and 419 specialist Sam Sumana, Ernest Koroma's reputation as the Jesus of Sierra Leone is now looking more like the Pontius Pilate of Freetown.
VP Reject Tarawally

The people of Sierra leone, in the midst of the devastating poverty, increased fuel prices, astronomical food prices, lack of money in Banks, non payment of salaries, fuel shortages and cholera devastation, have taken to religion with a new found zeal, filling Nigerian churches and Mosques looking for salvation. I would like to tell the people of my country that God is listening and ready to answer their prayers. The onlty thing the Almighty wants them to do is come November 17th, vote out this thieving and corrupt cartel. God is giving Sierra Leoneans the chance to answer their own prayers and if they do not do so, it will be upon their own heads.

Ernest Koroma will promise better days in his second term. He will promise that food prices will go down, petrol will become plenty, jobs will be plentiful, everybody will enjoy and say Kumbaya. But I want to remind the people of Sierra Leone of an old Krio saying which I will translate in English'

" The frog that does not have a big buttocks when it is young, will not have a big buttocks when it is old."
The Frog Has No Buttocks


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